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"When you talked about not having a choice when you were younger?" Yes. There was a time when I was basically at the mercy of an older man. He used me, confused me. He was so crazy that you got pulled into his twisted view of love and sex. He also raped me, which was bad enough, but he was the first man to bring me to orgasm when he did it. That fucks with your head." Shit." Peter was instantly uncomfortable and worried about her."Yeah. It taught me that my body is not my ally in life. It has an agenda as well, which sometimes does not coincide with my own. I hated him. I hated him so much I fantasized about how I would kill him. And yet, when he grabbed me by my hair and pushed me down onto my bed, I would get so wet. Every fucking time." Steph, are you okay? I mean, after all that happened, can I call someone?" No, I just want you to understand something about me. I know you like me, but you need to understand some things about me before you get too close. I don't want you to feel. I depilated all my body hair, applied a fake tan and had painted my toe nails. I was five six, five nine in my stilettos, nine stone and for the first time in my life I was going to be a woman, I applied a thin veneer of foundation, lipstick and mascara and paraded myself shamelessly in front of the full-length mirror, my tiny cock and balls free of any hair, my nipples erect and sensitive. My long tanned lightly muscled legs balanced on the heels as a tribute to the movie stars. I wore a thin very short tee-shirt dress, no panties to complete the effect. The doorbell rang, I jumped! I knew who it was. I answered quickly. The girl was petite quite tiny, in fact. She was wearing a short pleated skirt and a tiny tee shirt displaying her navel and that she was bra-less, her nipples poking through the thin fabric. I’m not proud that I’d hired an escort, but you have to understand I was 28 and still a virgin I dealt with the cash side of things and had explained on the phone.
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